Six Months Later...

My most recent fellowship assignment - "For your monthly report this month, we ask that you submit a letter to future AJWS fellows. The letter will serve to inform future fellows of the practical arrangements they should make prior to their departure as well as provide them with a snapshot of your experience in India."

Dear Future Fellows,

I can so clearly remember sitting on the floor of my room six months ago trying to stuff all I thought was necessary for the next ten months of my life into a suitcase at 3am, while my mom sat on my bed trying to make herself useful by reading aloud the “Dear Future Fellows,” letters in the Volunteer Handbook. She tried so hard to bring to life the advice and experiences of past fellows, with hopes that each word would somehow seep in and better prepare me for what was to come. As I listened, I took out the last sweater I had put in my suitcase (why did I put any in?!), added another pair of flip flops and tried to visualize my right hand as my only eating utensil, but besides that, none of it really penetrated. I felt so far removed from what I was hearing and for the life of me couldn’t connect to the words of those who had just experienced what I was about to.

I sit here at a desk in my NGO office, (as I look out at the monsoon rain that’s just started pouring down again) in utter disbelief that I am more than half way into my fellowship and am now being asked to write my own “Dear Future Fellows” letter. I could tell you what my office life is like, how I’ve been experiencing culture shock, what I wish I had packed (and not packed), how my time here has impacted my Jewish identity and other tips that you may or may not find useful. But the truth is I’m in the midst of my own unique experience that I’m still trying to figure out and find meaning in for myself. I don’t want to set expectations or put pictures in your head that may be completely unrepresentative of what your experience will look like. What I would like to do is share with you an excerpt from a letter I was asked to write to myself just before arriving at my placement 5 months ago. After rereading it at the mid-point retreat, I couldn’t help but think something from it may be relevant or helpful for future fellows to hear. So, although I’m not offering instructions or words of wisdom to you per se, I hope my advice for myself will at least urge you to think about your own unique journey that is about to begin.

“Don’t get too comfortable in routines. (Personally, professionally or socially) Challenge yourself to experience more, taste more, interact more, walk more, talk more, think more, write more, engage more and laugh more even when you’re not being pushed to, and especially when you’re not feeling motivated to. Do things because you care about them and want to contribute to change (in your NGO, community, India or yourself) not because you have to. If you feel yourself getting stuck in routines and drifting into “autopilot” take a step back and ask yourself why that is the case. There’s only so much you can do in your position, but there is exactly that – so much you can do! It’s never too late to make a change for yourself.

Stop mapping out your future and just let it happen! Don’t forget about the “unknown, unknowns” and how exciting it is to have them continuously popping up. You have so much time ahead of you with so many open doors in all directions. No matter what happens over the next 4 months, remember that no experience is a waste of time because you’ll never know which may lead to the next opportunity or realization about your future.

Remember why you chose to be here and remind yourself that you will never have this experience again. What an amazing opportunity you were given, and still have in front of you. It’s what YOU make of it! Take a deep breath and just let go. Anything that is bothering you or causing anxiety or stress probably doesn’t have to be, so do something about it! You will be so much happier and able to get, and give more if you can move on, laugh about it and focus on the positive things that are important to you.”